spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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