is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
