I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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