think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
