Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
