I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
