My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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