are you still at the devil's house?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize