her vagine was all disorganized.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
