Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
