He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
