she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
