i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
