Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
