Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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