You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
