So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
