My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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