I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
