so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
