yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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