Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
