I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
