it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Its about making memories worth repressing
accomplished twins. life is a go
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
