I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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