My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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