i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
