I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
