he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there was a trapeze. enough said
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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