I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
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Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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