4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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