real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
