its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
