If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
