im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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