So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
