I cannot find my penis.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
