im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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