I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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