there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
