Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
