she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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