I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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