Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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