If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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