Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
