$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
