Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
