You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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