Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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