Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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