Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize