he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I need a burrito and a hug.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
