did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
