What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
