i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
