was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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