you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
