I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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