he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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