i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
