my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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