I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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