Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
