if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
