just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
