Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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