Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
