I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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