You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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