What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Someone shit on the floor
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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