Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
