she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
