Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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